PROGRAMS

One of the most radical goals of Respect Volleyball is changing the atmosphere that has started to enshroud elite athletics. Respect Volleyball is a drama-free organization and club. How do we achieve that goal? We have open and transparent communication, clearly-defined roles, and definite boundaries.

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We are very serious about building a culture of respect, a culture in which everyone involved--players, coaches, and parents--are valued and included and in which, while learning and competing, everyone is having fun. A parent may have played in school, a girl may have this or that experience with this or that club or school, another organization may do things another way...all of those things are interesting, and all of those options are open to anyone who wants to join them. If our approach is not for you, we encourage you to seek other opportunities because we will not alter our culture to conform to you and will expect you to conform to our culture. If you and your family join Respect Volleyball, we will enforce these expectations with the same gravity with which we live by them ourselves. Families may disagree here and there, but there will be no board member, administrator, coach, player, or parent more important than the team and the culture. We want to win, but we if we can't win the right way, we are willing to lose. We will love, support, and RESPECT each other. 

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PLAYER ROLES & EXPECTATIONS

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Show up. Show up early. Come ready to work. Work hard. Be coachable and respectful. Do what you're asked to do. Give it your all. Make mistakes, and learn from them. Communicate on and off the court. Be accountable. Own your mistakes. Be quick to encourage others when they make mistakes. Be quick to celebrate others when they do well. Celebrate your own good moments. Never put yourself above the team. From the bench to the floor, we win together. We lose together. Every player matters. Every player will be included in group chats, group outings, etc. We don't have to be best friends with everyone we meet, but we will be friendly to all. Keep social media appropriate. We will check. Show respect to refs, coaches, parents, and teammates. Show self-respect. No bare midriffs. No pajama pants and slippers. No profanity. No eye rolls. No pointing fingers. No faces or tears when it's not going your way or our way. We're tougher than that, and we never give anyone the satisfaction of seeing us be less than who we are. 

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COACHES ROLES & EXPECTATIONS

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Show up. Show up early. Coaches make decisions. Make the final calls about who plays and how often. Instruct, guide, train, counsel, and manage. Model respect. Treat our players and families with respect. Communicate transparently, timely, and frequently. Be open to conversation and questions from players and parents. Understand that our girls are maturing but that parents are still a key part of their lives and may have insights that will help. Celebrate and praise at least as often as you criticize and correct. Reinforce positive skills and attitude. Give no tolerance for bad attitudes and excuses. Know the players as human beings, and treat them as such. Sit with families, and know them, too. Monitor player behaviors and be sure everyone is included and treated well. No profanity. No alcohol around players and families. No drug use. Dress professionally for games--either in a nice team tracksuit or in the manner of college coaches. Give excellence. Expect excellence. Give respect. Expect respect. 

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PARENT ROLES & EXPECTATIONS

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Be a parent, not a coach, not a boss, not a diva. Love all the girls as you love your own. Cheer for all the girls. Winning or losing, be encouraging from the stands. Get your player(s) where she needs to be early and ready. Get to know the other parents. We don't have to be best friends with everyone, but we will be friendly to all. Show respect to refs, coaches, other parent, and the team. Show self-respect in how you appear and behave. No profanity. No alcohol around the girls. No drug use. No arguing or undermining. Remember that you don't know everything that happens in every practice and that you don't know all the reasons a coach may make decisions about certain positions, playing time, etc. You don't know everything going on in another person's life. Allow everyone to enjoy the matches by biting your tongue on your opinions and gossip and by cheering loudly and positively for the team. Make sure your child is behaving according to roles and expectations, and let other parents take care of their children. Volunteer. Show up. Have fun! 

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TEAM COMMUNICATION

 

PLAYER TO PLAYER

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It is our expectation that if a conflict arises between players on a team then it gets resolved outside of practice/tournaments time, if possible, so as to minimize the effect that it can have on the chemistry of the team. If the conflict is not reconcilable then it is our expectation that the players involved should not aggravate the problem by involving other players or parents on the team with gossip, rumors or by attacking people on social media. If conflict between two players becomes an issue on the court, the coach may set up a meeting with both players and their families.

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PLAYER TO COACH

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Good communication is necessary between the coach and player. Both players and coaches are responsible for establishing a relationship of trust and mutual respect. Bringing up a problem can be very difficult for a player but this is one of those life skills that sports can teach. Parents may need to push their daughter to take the first step. Respect Volleyball coaches work to be approachable and to create a safe environment for player to bring up concerns.

 

For players, the most common concern that they have revolves around playing time. Players who are not satisfied with their coach’s decisions must engage with the coach to identify the issue by following these steps:

 

The athlete must first approach the coach and initiate dialogue, not the parent.

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Our expectation is that the player should start this conversation by asking what she needs to do to play more and how she can work towards playing a larger role in contributing to the team’s success.

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Often times, players are unclear on what they need to change or how playing time is determined and an early conversation can address these questions.

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If the question or problem is still unanswered or unresolved the athlete must again approach the coach for clarification and direction.

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If the question or problem is still unanswered or unresolved, the athlete can request a player coach meeting with parents and a club administrator in attendance.

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The ability to confront and discuss potentially emotional topics is an absolutely necessary skill for negotiating conflict within one’s life. HOWEVER, we do realize there are times a problem needs to be addressed and the player cannot bring herself to approach the coach. In this case, we HIGHLY encourage the parents, in a spirit of collaboration with the coach, to produce the best environment for the player, to bring the issue to the Club Director’s attention. If you, as a parent, have legitimate concerns about a coach other than your athlete’s coach, or with an athlete other than your own, you need to address the Club Director.

 

PARENTS TO ADMINISTRATION

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Respect Volleyball values parents and your commitment to financial, volunteer, and emotional support to your daughter(s) and our club. You have an important role to play in building and maintaining our culture and environment, and you are definitely part of the Respect Volleyball family. Our teams, however, are our players and our coaches, and it’s important that all our roles are complimentary. Coaches should not shut out or disparage parents, and parents should not interfere with nor undermine coaches.

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Respect Volleyball wants to encourage appropriate communication between our parents and the coaching staff of their daughter’s team. What is appropriate communication? Who should I communicate to, the coach or the director?

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*Any information about your daughter’s health. Recent illnesses, medical restrictions relative to practice, allergies, medication needs are all examples of important information that we want you to communicate to your coaches and/or Respect Volleyball administration.

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*Any information about your daughter’s emotional health. It may be important for your coach to know if your daughter is struggling in school, had a recent death in the family, or is dealing with another emotionally charged issue. Without this context, your daughter's behavior in practice or during a tournament may be interpreted as being lazy, unfocused, or even disrespectful.

 

A head’s up that your daughter is struggling to communicate with her coach.  This is appropriate if it is only a quick head's up and not a detailed email. Remember that we begin this conversation with the player first. This should be communicated to the Director so that an extra pair of eyes can be alerted to the team. The Director will communicate your concerns to the coach.

 

*Your positive experiences with the coach or team. If we are doing things right, then reinforce that by letting us know.

 

*Your willingness to be more involved.  If you want to help with pictures, video, fundraising or other activities to support your team and the club, then let us know!

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Grievance Policies. Competitive team athletics, by its very nature, creates situations where everyone may not be happy all the time. For the psychological health of the athletes and the club as a whole, grievances need to be handled between the parties involved and the decision-makers in the situation, meaning, talk to the coach (when appropriate) or talk to the  administration. 

 

There are topics of communication with your daughter's coaches which are not appropriate or where there is a more appropriate venue to make that contact:

 

Conversations About Playing Time

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If your daughter is receiving playing time consistent with this handbook and the expectations set forth by your coach at the player/parent meeting at the beginning of the season, and your daughter has not tried to discuss her playing time or her role on the team with her coach, it is inappropriate for you to do so.

 

Before approaching the coach yourself, encourage your daughter to talk to her coach using the steps outlined in our "Players to Coaches" section of team communication. If after this conversation, there are still concerns, a conversation with the coach, parent, and player may be appropriate. Request a meeting with the Club Director to facilitate this process.

 

Other Players on the Team

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Your personal opinions of other player's attitudes, skill, performance, or conduct are not appropriate topics of conversation for you to have with your daughter's coach. There are some exceptions... Any issues relative to drugs, alcohol, or weapons should be brought up with Starlings administration immediately.

 

Coaching Techniques, Tactics, Etc.

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These are all issues that are not open for discussion or negotiation. There are opportunities at the end of the season for parents to provide feedback on these topics to the coaching staff and the Club Director.

 

Finding the Best Time to Talk

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Little problems are easier to fix than big ones, and little problems have a way of getting bigger when not addressed. Here are some guidelines for finding the best time to talk.

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If there is a question about playing time, don't wait half the season to bring it up. The 24-hour rule is good because it WORKS! If there is any emotion to an issue, wait at least 24 hours after the issue before setting up a meeting. Prep your coach for the meeting, but avoid lengthy emails or phone messages. These tend to be too emotional and accusatory, so avoid that with a brief note or conversation.